fuck yo couch

You may live roughly 5000 miles away, but I love you no matter what.

  • me when i was 5: I LOVE NUGGETS AND MONSTERS INC
  • me at 13: I LOVE RAP MUSIC AND SWEARING
  • me at 15: I HATE EVERYTHING
  • me at 18: I LOVE NUGGETS AND MONSTERS INC

stability:

when my kids ask where babies come from im just gonna show them this gif

image

{

(Source: lemonlavander)

florelgreen:

you’re really cute and its ruining my life because i think about kissing you all the time

buttlid:

wanna make a secret handshake it involves us touching our mouths together for three hours

lameborghini:

lameborghini:

there’s a rumor going around my school that a girl in choir got suspended for fingering herself in class uh

image

ur school wins

awkwardrabbit:

How am I going to tell them I lost my job.
I have a wife, and 3 children
3 Children. 
{

awkwardrabbit:

How am I going to tell them I lost my job.

I have a wife, and 3 children

3 Children. 

(Source: soyunalbondiga)

cucumberbatchin:

do you ever sit in school like i know the answer to that questions but i’m not saying it because this class is pissing me off

(Source: cucumberbatchin-gone)

pokemaam:

Me trying to live my life while my mom constantly nags and criticizes me
{

pokemaam:

Me trying to live my life while my mom constantly nags and criticizes me

(Source: hogwartskidsproblems)

zayngatsby:

all i do on this website is scroll and hold in my pee

titenoute:

I case someone want to experiment what real terror is go here it’s in english.
{

titenoute:

I case someone want to experiment what real terror is go here it’s in english.

(Source: brixyfire)

iswearimnotnaked:

my brother left his drink at taco bell and was like “where’s my baja blast?” and my sister just quietly whispers “in the baja past”

If you won’t sing in the car with me when we drive, we can’t be friends

(Source: overdosed)